Hope for hot flashes!!

I went to the Oncologist and almost cried  explaining how awful the hot flashes are. I don’t know why they are worse for me .  It may be the medicine or it may be my bodies reaction to the medicine but either way 24 hot flashes in 24 hours that makes you sweat until you are soaking wet are NO FUN!
There are other side effects also ( joint pain) and more….
I can barely walk it has made my left hip hurt so bad and other joints pick and choose when they will flare up and be painful and I cannot tolerate the arthritus medicine that would help with that.
But I gave up and agreed to try the doctors prescription of antidepressants as a last straw.  I hate taking them but at this point I am ready to do whatever it takes to make the quality of my life better.
The first dose prescribed helped for about 6 hours then wore off. They have doubled that dose and it helps for about 12 hours and it can be doubled again which is probably going to be the next step.
It does not make them go away, but the frequency and the intensity is a whole lot more bearable..
I guess I have No choice but to be BLISSFULLY HAPPY and not depressed for the next 5 years!!
I really don’t notice that I am taking antidepressants but maybe that is because I am not depressed to start with.
I do have a few side effects from the medicine.. I have headaches and pressure in my head that I don’t have normally .  My vision is a bit blury and it makes it really hard for me get rest.  It makes me hungry and I have gained weight( working to keep that from happening…..) BUT I am willing to put up with all that so the hotflashes can be better controlled.
I have thought about and learned alot about my life.  Most of it I had already discovered for myself , but there has be additonal enlightenment during this time.
It was almost a year ago(Nov 2010) that I had the mammogram that uncovered the cancer to start with.
 And each step along the way there has been surprises about my coping mechanism.
I have learned which people in my life really value me and which don’t.
I have learned that prayers and support from family and friends are such a valuable gift and I have discovered how some others really think and see me from their side.
You always think you know people well enough to predict how they will react but I was wrong alot and surprised at peoples reactions .
Some are priceless gifts and some are things I will choose to forget and ignore.
I have been so blessed that work  has allowed me to keep going from home because much of this time since March I would have been extremely uncomfortable at  the office. They have been extremly generous to allow this space.
 I thankful for the wonderful medical team I have had I trust them all and know that alot of the hope comes from Trust in your team.
This has been a real turning point in my chapters of life and I have sure spent alot of time analyzing my past and what the future holds.
It has definitely taken my comfort zone to a new height and some things that used to matter no longer do and things that didn’t before make a big difference now.
I am certainly looking forward to the completion of the reconstruction. One of the reactions I didn’t think I would have was the disdain I have for the way my body looks now But I am hoping the completeion of reconstruction will make me more comfortable with my new look. I am counting on it.
I will not change much about the way I live my life , but my thinking and how I feel about things and people has really changed.

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